Our Forever Family

Today was a special day. Today we took our little Drew to the Draper, Utah temple to be sealed to us for time and all eternity. This is the day I've been anxiously waiting for for over a year. I've been imagining what it would be like, imagining who would be there. Nothing could have prepared me for the day that was today. It was a day I'll remember forever.

We were so blessed to have family and a couple of close friends there with us. The temple workers were so sweet and so helpful helping us get ready. I knew I would cry during the sealing, but I didn't realize I'd start crying while we were walking to the sealing room. I didn't realize I'd have to do all I could to not bawl so I couldn't even speak. I didn't realize just how strong the spirit would be in that temple, in that room. I didn't realize just how I would feel when I saw my family and friends who are my family and how I would feel so much love for each of them. I didn't realize just how much love I could possibly feel when my mom walked into that room holding my little baby boy in all white. That's when it hit me. He was so sweet and he was so good.

I'm so grateful for a Heavenly Father that allows us to feel things like this. I'm grateful that we've been able to experience this. I'm so grateful for Johnny and Kaitlyn and their selflessness. I'm so grateful for my sweet little boy that I get to be with forever. And of course I'm grateful for my Dan. There are no words.

Here are some pictures that Brenley took for us today. She was so great to get them to me so fast so that I could post them.

Thank you again for all of your prayers, love, and support. We couldn't have done it without you. This has been such a great experience for us and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I'm going to miss the adoption process and I hope we'll be able to be blessed by adoption again.

This is the end of the beginning of our adoption story, and the beginning of our lives together forever.

Adoption Finalized!

We got to finalize the adoption today! It was a great day! We had the option of going in to the courthouse or to do it through the mail. I am so thankful we chose to go in. It made it really special for me. Hearing Judge Merten say all those wonderful things - such as: it's as if he's been born to us, the courts approve the name change (last name) - was so amazing and emotional for me. I feel so blessed. It really was a neat experience for us. My parents drove all the way from Utah yesterday (and were even stuck in Twin Falls for 3 hours getting a new alternator) to be there. I'm so grateful for them. I love that they were there. Our good friends, the Johnsons, got up early, got their kids ready to come be a part of this. So sweet of them. Stupid security line made them miss it by mere minutes. But I'm still so grateful that they were there. I'm going to miss the adoption process so much. This has been so life-changing, there's no way I can even begin to describe that. I have grown so much. We have our sweet little boy. I am so thankful!

Court Date

We have a court date!!! I can't believe it!! (Especially after I whined in my last post. You'd think I'd be punished for that.) So next Tuesday (we were so blessed to get a court date so soon - our attorney told us we were "lucky," but I'd say we're incredibly blessed) we'll be there at the court house finalizing our adoption so that our little guy will be legally ours! I can't wait! I can't believe it's finally here. And in 13 months, no less. It's amazing. Miracles left and right. Heavenly Father carefully planning this and with us every step of the way. Amazing, amazing. I feel so blessed. I can't wait to be in the temple with Dan and Drew. I was looking at Drew today and thought about that special day that will come soon and teared up, as I'm sure I'll do for a long time. How did I get so lucky? It's been a long time comin', but I wouldn't trade a second of it for anything!

Almost There...

SO EXCITED! We got an email from our caseworker yesterday with good news.

We've been waiting to hear back from DHS - the state of Oregon has to approve the adoption. We had to wait for them before we could finalize the adoption. They have been taking forever. Surprise, surprise - something from the state is taking longer than expected. :) Oh well. So far everything's worked out perfectly.

So we got this email yesterday saying LDSFS heard back from DHS! Yay! Finally! So she mailed all of the paperwork from LDSFS to our attorney, who has been awesome so far, by the way. He has everything ready on his end so when he receives the paperwork from LDSFS, he'll submit it and we'll just have to wait for a court date and then it'll be finalized! I've been told this part takes a couple of weeks. We'll see how long it really takes.

I sound like such a whiner in this post. And I don't mean to be. I'm just so incredibly anxious to take our little guy to the temple to be sealed. It's the part I've been imagining since the very beginning. Everything so far has worked out great and things have gone so smoothly for us and I know it will continue that way. I know I have absolutely nothing to worry about. I'm just SO EXCITED!

Last Meeting

On Wednesday, we had our last meeting with our caseworker! We met her up in Salem at the library and she asked pretty much the same things as our last meeting. Basically to see how we're doing, how we're adjusting, and how Drew's doing. I can't believe we're already this far!

Now we're just waiting for the state to approve the adoption and when they do, our caseworker will send all of the paperwork from LDSFS to our attorney (who is awesome!) and he'll submit it to the courts so we can set up a court date to finalize! (At least this is my impression. I could be terribly wrong, but I think this is how the rest of the process goes...)

We're getting there! It's all gone by so quickly. It's so hard to believe that this all started one year ago. It's gone by so fast for us! I think about how long we've wanted a child and know that our little Drew was definately worth the wait!!

Placement

I haven't been good at blogging lately. And for that I feel really bad, especially with this blog because this blog is so special to me and I've done such a good job of keeping exact track of everything. Hopefully I'll do better.

We had placement on December 28, 2009. It was up at the hospital in the afternoon. I had my friend, Brenley, come up to take pictures for us. I didn't want to have to worry about taking pictures, but I knew it was something I would want to remember. I also knew she'd do a fabulous job, not only because she's an amazing photographer, but also because she adopted her little boy just over two years ago, so she knew what moments to capture. I was right - she did the BEST job.

Anyway, that morning I was so nervous (yes, again..), that I literally made myself sick. I felt sick all morning. Not because I didn't think it would work out, but because of the sacrifice Johnny and Kaitlyn were making and I didn't know how I would handle it.

Everything went really well. We did all the paperwork and then Johnny and Kaitlyn went to check out of the hospital. Johnny's parents were there in the room with us. Johnny's mom looked at me and, with a smile on her face, said "congratulations." That was the exact moment it hit me. I just started sobbing. It didn't seem real before then (sometimes it still doesn't). But that one word was all it took. It was such a special moment for me.

I was finally able to compose myself and then a minute later, Brenley was across the room and when she caught my eye, she mouthed to me "You're a MOM!" The tears flowed again. :)

Here are a few of the photos Brenley took that I'll treasure forever.

{Kaitlyn holding Drew}

{Our sweet little boy}

{Spending precious moments with Johnny and Kaitlyn}

{This is my favorite picture - it's so sweet}

{Sweet Johnny}

{The moment it all hit me}

{Our new family of three on our way home}

One Step Closer

Yesterday, we had our first post-placement visit from our new caseworker, Julie. She came to our home to see how we're doing, see how Drew's doing, and to see how we're all adjusting. It went really well! I was hoping Drew would be awake, but he slept the whole time instead. :)

Our next step is to have one more visit with Julie - probably in Salem or Tigard. Then, she'll send all the paperwork to our attorney (who is great!) and he'll get things finished with the court. We'll meet with a judge from there and it will be finalized! Then we get to do the fun stuff. The thing I've been the very most excited about is taking Drew to the temple. It's what I've been picturing in my head throughout this whole process and I can't wait!

But that'll all take a little time. For now, though, we're one step closer!

Before & After

Remember this?

Well, it now looks like this!

Many thanks to Mama Stoddart for all of her help organizing this place!

My turn

Angie has done an amazing job with updating this blog and expressing our thoughts and feelings throughout this entire process. With all due respect, it's my turn. :)

What an incredible journey this has been for us! I'm so grateful that we were led to the decision to adopt and for all of the experiences we've had along the way. Drew is the greatest thing that has ever happened to us. He's the most beautiful baby boy I've ever seen. I can't get enough of being around him. I love when he's awake and seeing him looking around to explore the world and all it has to offer. I love when he's asleep and showing me how peaceful life can be. I love all of the sounds and faces he makes, always keeping us entertained. I even love it when he cries or needs a diaper change, for it gives me the chance to show him at an early age that he can depend on me as his father. He makes me want to be a better person and change the world around me. I want him to be a good influence on everyone he meets. I want him to acheive greatness in his life and make sure he has every opportunity to succeed.

I feel very blessed to have Johnny and Kaitlyn be a part of our lives and for their decision to place their baby boy for adoption with us. It is a very noble thing for them to do and I thank the Lord every day for them and pray that he grants them guidance and support throughout their lives. I can never thank them enough.

Hospital

Dan and I have been really careful about respecting the privacy of our wonderful birthparents (Johnny and Kaitlyn), but they've let us know that they're okay with us posting pictures of them (which I'm so excited about). So I decided to post a little bit about the hospital.

Kaitlyn sent Dan and I text messages at around 7:45 in the morning on Saturday to let us know she was at the hospital. This picture is of us on the way. We packed some things and headed up to meet them. Both sets of parents were there when we got there and Johnny and Kaitlyn were so great to let us hang out with all of them for awhile.

After many hours of labor, Johnny came out to ask if I wanted to be in the room for the delivery. I was so beyond excited. So I was able to be with Johnny and Kaitlyn for a little while before things started happening, which I really loved. Kaitlyn was such a trooper. I was so impressed with her. She was exhausted and still gave it her all. I couldn't believe it. And Johnny was so supportive of her. It was amazing to see the love between these two. This was the first birth I've ever seen and it was amazing. It was the most amazing thing to watch my son being born. I can't imagine anything sweeter. The first moment I held him in my arms, I wept. I felt it. The same feeling I felt all those months ago when this whole process started. All of those years of heartache and pain have been totally and completely worth it.

Kaitlyn holding Drew - isn't she beautiful? Keep in mind this is minutes after giving birth.

Johnny holding Drew. I absolutely love Johnny's hair.

Johnny's dad captured this sweet picture.

Andrew Jonathan

Our sweet little Drew decided to make his debut into this world last night, the 26th, at 10:54 pm and we are so in love with him! He is 8 lbs 4 oz and 20 inches long. The delivery went very, very well and both baby and Birthmom are doing great! I may be biased, but isn't he the cutest thing you've EVER seen??

Getting Ready

Dan and I have been working to get things ready for our little boy that's coming to us soon! We actually started getting ready around March or so, just getting small things here and there. But in the last couple months or so, we've been doing a lot more to get ready. Our big thing we're working on right now is turning our spare bedroom into a nursery. Here's how it's going so far:

As you can see, it's a complete mess. :) Which is driving me absolutely crazy. I love looking at all the fun stuff we have so far, but I'd love if it was a lot more organized. I think as soon as we can figure out what we're going to do with that bed and the TV that's in there, the rest should fall into place. I think I know what I'll be doing this weekend.... :)

Although, have I mentioned how EXCITED we are?!?! It's a lot of preparation, but worth every second of it!

Details

So since I posted the great news last time and some people have asked, I guess I should put some details on here. :) We met with J & K (our wonderful birthparents) last Wednesday for dinner and while we were waiting for our food, they handed us that card with their decision. I absolutely loved that they gave us something tangible that we can keep. After dinner, we played arcade games for awhile - it was so fun to hang out with them in a casual setting, much more comfortable.

Dan and I are both friends with J & K on Facebook so I get to talk to K (the birthmom) on there occasionally. She's doing well, feeling good - doesn't complain at all, she's amazing. She went to the doctor recently and everything looks great. J's working hard. It sounds like he's working all the time. Such great people!!

The little boy is due on December 29. (When we first heard about J & K, the due date was December 24, but I guess it's changed a few times.) We're of course so excited and have been buying a lot of fun things. We have great friends and family that have given us so much already - our spare bedroom looks like a bomb went off in there. :)

I feel so incredibly thankful for J & K. I don't think I'll ever be able to express my full gratitude. I'm grateful that we've gotten to know them and I'm grateful that they chose us and that we get to have them in our lives.

I know I write this all the time, but THANK YOU all for your love, support, and prayers. It's really overwhelming (in the best way possible) to learn and I know this has all happened because of all of you.

There Are No Words...

Face to Face

Today was an amazing day that Dan and I will remember forever. Remember those sweet people I posted about a month ago? We got to meet them today! It was awesome! We found out about a week ago that we'd be able to meet them and I'd been looking forward to it all week. Last night, I was so full of anxiety. I asked Dan to give me a blessing so I would be able to calm down. It worked wonders. :) Thank goodness for the priesthood. I did pretty well this morning - I was able to keep myself distracted. But as the afternoon crept up on me and we were driving to Salem, it hit me all over again. As we sat in the parking lot of the Olive Garden, I thought I was going to pass out. As soon as I saw them and we met, I calmed down. I was right - they are the sweetest, nicest, most selfless people. I loved talking with them - for 3 hours. There are so many similarities. I loved every second of it. Our caseworkers were there for the first half which was really nice and helpful. And then it was nice to relax a little bit more and talk for a while longer. I so look forward to meeting with them again and getting to know them better!

A Phone Call

Words can't quite describe how I'm feeling tonight, but yet I want to write something. Dan and I got an exciting phone call today. Our caseworker called to let us know that a couple has expressed interest in us! I feel such an amazing love for these sweet people, and yet I haven't even met them. I can't begin to imagine the courage they have and the feelings they're facing and I admire them so much for it. I know they might not end up choosing us, but I feel honored that they have even considered us. Please keep these sweet people in your prayers. Even if we're not the path they choose, I want them to make the best decision for themselves. Thank you all for your continued love and support! We love you all!!

Prayer Trading

"My mom introduced the beautiful concept of adoption in a very simple manner. She said, 'There is something that is called prayer trading, and we're going to trade prayers with somebody. Somewhere out there is a girl praying for a good family for her baby. We are going to pray for a good tummy with a baby in it, and we are going to answer each others' prayers.' "

-Troy Dunn

I've seen this quote a couple of times now - from my friend, Brenley, and my sister, Steph - and I love it. I think it's the perfect definition of adoption.

When I Knew

I've told this story to some people, but I love it so much and it's so close to my heart that I want EVERYONE to know it. This is the story of when I knew adoption was for us.

People used to ask us if we had thought about adopting. The truth is that we had thought about it, but it just didn't feel right for us at that point, so it was never really at the front of my mind. I had never had anything against it, I just thought we'd start our family the traditional way.

We absolutely love our ward here in Eugene and we have been called as the Cub Scout leaders. But, on the side, we've been substituting in Primary for almost a year now. :) We don't mind it at all because we love our primary. On January 18 (I believe), we were sitting in Primary and one of the classes was doing Sharing Time. It was crazy and hectic and the kids were pretty wired. My friend Brenley, who I actually didn't know at the time, was the teacher of this class that was presenting. The theme was about families. It was hard to pay close attention to the lesson with everything going on, but I heard something at the very end that she said that really caught my attention. She mentioned that through adoption, they had been blessed with their little boy that they are now sealed to.

Now, to fully appreciate this story, it goes back a little bit further. After telling Brenley my story, she added to it. Tell me if I get anything wrong, Brenley, but I belive this is what you told me. Brenley had been preparing her lesson and had gone back and forth about whether or not to talk about the adoption. She didn't know if it fit well or if it would work into the lesson. Ultimately, she decided not to talk about it. Even during her lesson, she wasn't planning on it, but at the end, she felt impressed to say something about it and it was the thing that struck me that day.

I didn't talk to her after her lesson and we were gone the next Sunday, so on February 1, I caught Brenley after church and just mentioned that I was curious about adoption. Poor Brenley had ler little one year old that did not want to be sitting there anymore and was trying everything to get away, and she still talked to me for a few minutes. We exchanged email addresses and I got an amazing email from her later that night talking about their journey with adoption. She also mentioned that she wanted to come over in the next couple of days to give me something. So she came over on the 3rd and brought me the greatest book, From God's Arms to my Arms to Yours. We talked for about an hour, with her giving me so much information and answering all of my questions.

When she left, I immediately opened the book and started reading. By the time I got to about the third page, I was completely filled with the spirit so strongly, that I just started sobbing, much like I am now and much like I do every time I tell this story or even think about it. I knew without a doubt that adoption is for us and this is how we will be blessed with the beginning of our family.

I know in my heart that this is what we're supposed to be doing right now. There are so many reasons we were led to Eugene, to this ward. I know Brenley is one of those reasons. She has helped so much and has helped get me to this point. I am so grateful for her and for the spirit prompting her to say those short, simple words in Primary that day for my ears to hear. This has been so amazing and I hope I never forget how I feel right now whenever I think about how blessed we are to be a part of this. I absolutely love adoption and I love love love these sweet, amazing birth mothers that are so full of selflessness and love!!

APPROVED!

Yesterday was a fun, fun day for us. After a few phone calls with Brent (our caseworker, to make sure they had all of our information), we got the fun phone call saying we're approved and our profile is online!! Brent is so great and has been so helpful every step of the way. He spend most of yesterday working on our profile - getting everything ready to go online and making sure he had everything from us. So, now we're official!! It actually doesn't feel like we've had to wait too long to get to this point, even though it's been 6 months. I loved putting our profile together - figuring out which pictures to use and writing our letter to the birth parents. It was interesting to see how we felt inspired to put certain pictures in or what descriptions to write. Writing our letter was especially interesting. I really thought it was going to come out different that it did, but we had prayed right before that we would know what to write, and I know we wrote the things that we needed to.

Our profile is open for the public to view. You can see it here. So now all we do is wait for our sweet birth parents to find us and for us to find them. This is such an inspired process, I know everything will work out how it's supposed to!

Almost There...

I got great news yesterday! I was swimming and had a voicemail on my phone from a Portland phone number. I figured it had to be LDSFS with hopefully good news, but didn't want to get my hopes up too high. It was Pauletta (I just love her - she's so great) from LDSFS letting us know that our background checks came back and everything looked good!! I was bouncing because I was so excited. It just feels so REAL now. Now pretty much everything's done! We're so close. I talked to our caseworker, Brent, today to see what to do now. He's meeting with the board on July 6 to go over all of our information (home study, pictures, letter, everything) and will know that day if we've been approved!! That's in a week and a half!! Assuming everything goes well, we should have our profile up online then.

Even though this last part has taken so long, I have still loved every single part of this process and wouldn't change it for the world. I know this is how everything has needed to work for us. I know we've had so many prayers offered in our behalf, and again, I'm so grateful for them. Thank you all so much for being so supportive and excited! It makes all the difference in the world to be surrounded by such great, loving people!